One small step for douchebag, one giant leap, for douchekind.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Haterade #nerdrage
Oh? I'm using hashtags now instead of gawker tags.
On Protectionism
So, here's our yearly butthurt over Japanese devs bemoaning their lack of relevance to the global market. I'm going to give a quick analysis of two titles that I feel merit some discussion.
Exhibit A: Quantum Theory
First of all, it's a pretty fresh dev team and working with Tecmo. Trying to enter the shooterspace. Well, this could have been a great chance, were it not for a few massive issues. It's great that you, smalltime dev, are trying to make a Gears of War clone--seriously, new ideas are always welcome. But the controls are too different: making sprint and wallglue on two different buttons, wat? Cursor acceleration (that can't be turned off?) WAT. Using action-game controls (X for light melee, Y for heavy melee) instead of Gears-friendly B and holding B? Listen, games that do this (looking at you, Call of Duty and Bad Company), piss us off. Even Bayonetta did this, but those we learn to adapt by remapping internally. Even if this were a Japanese action title, this would be unacceptable.
Exhibit B: Lost Planet 2
Sigh. You were fun, sort of. You thought that its failure was "Americans don't want Monster Hunter with guns." Are you shitting me? We WANT MONSTER HUNTER WITH GUNS. You delivered something very short of that premise. It didn't go with the cycle of 1) stock up, 2) locate, 3) tag, 4) combat phases. If you, Capcom, released this experience as value-priced DLC, copies of LP2 will be selling at full retail again.
I think this points to big problem with Japanese devs across the board. Your definitions of Western gaming are completely wrong.
1) You see big dudes with big guns, we see an insertion / empowerment fantasy (something your RPGs do quite well).
2) You see over-the-top violence, we see a victory well-earned.
3) You see FPS-centric mechanics, we see agency and intentionality.
You see our titles from the lens that made yours successful, so why not look at the ones that we eat up without any localization efforts? We love shmups and fighting games because of tight controls. We love visual novels and Persona because it facilitates insertion. Japanese and Western gamers have very similar core motivations with a few nuances. I'm going to attribute this wave of cultural insularism to an unwillingness to blame yourself for your failure as cultural observers. Or, at the least, blame your fucking market researchers.
On Rivalries
So I own both Modern Warfare 2 and Bad Company 2. I clearly enjoy both, and will purchase Black Ops and Bad Company 2 Vietnam when they come out. (Medal of Honor hasn't been able to capture me but that's a nerdrage for another day). BC2 talks a lot of trash to MW2 in its narrative, specifically referencing characters and setpieces. However, it clearly doesn't note the similarities. Both have a team of English-speaking men fighting the Russians. Both pit you against a singular boss who has a history of backstabbing. Both contain gratuitous violence against helicopters. Both deal with EMP-like weapons systems. And in a nod to MW1, the final playable scene in BC2 is a close-quarters fight on an aircraft. I can vaguely hear Michael Bay cackling in the background during the end credits for both games.
As Art
A lot of people have offered their opinions on MW2, so I'll just stick with new material. I can see where the development process sort of fell apart. The campaign was based on a handful of powerful vignettes that probably had great target renders. MW1 had parallel arcs that came together (something we see in virtually all CoD titles). However, the narrative of MW2 has no direction and attempts to create anger at Makarov and Shepard (with only Shepard receiving a cathartic resolution) rather than make any effort to develop characters and explain motivations. It missed a golden opportunity to turn Price into a villain, but instead opted to keep him around for a sequel. Financial expediency trumping narrative quality, huh?
On Escalation
Play Bayonetta. Just when you think shit just got real, shit gets realer. Then play on Hard mode. Ninja Gaiden 2 would get rock hard over Bayonetta. This game has nearly infinite replayability.
On Promises
I bought and played Civilization V. It's great. It does culture somewhat well, with mutually exclusive tech trees. Touche.
On Copycats
So, Alan Wake is great. Its pedigree really shows, as the ending and 1st DLC really explore the metaphysical on top of the psychological. This game is basically built on top of the idea of foreshadowing--Remedy has really taken the narrative style of Max Payne and have tweaked it nearly to perfection. The gameplay should be familiar, your flashlight knocks down shadow and the bullets damage flesh. You're basically playing Halo. The rock concert showdown will draw inevitable parallels to Left 4 Dead 2, not that I think anyone will complain. Each episode is timed at around 1 hour and has a pretty fitting ED song. Alan Wake would have troubles as a weekly TV show, as the pacing is far more deliberate and has a clear sense of escalation. Still, I had a great time.
On Inevitability
As of today, Halo Reach has eaten nearly 80 hours of my life. I'll steer away from the multiplayer aspects, as they're just as fun as ever. I'll start off by stating that I think content was cut that could have made the narrative more complete. The only character death that I really felt was Jorge's, it's personal, referenced repeatedly, and Noble in design. Kat's was pointless and drawn out with silence--I would've liked to see the team franticly attempting field medicine. Subtitles indicated that something was cut here. It was a wasted opportunity. Jun doesn't die, he just goes missing in canon. Carter gets a one-liner send off, a bit more time for the player to dwell and think about his sacrifice would have been appropriate. Emile, while your death was clearly badass (in a 90s action movie pulling a grenade and taking the enemy with you sort of way), the player doesn't have any sort of emotional response. It's like we're not supposed to care. As if he were placed there so we'd have a reason to go there later. But, I suppose all is forgiven with Lone Wolf. That one level alone is a very fitting end that meshes nicely with the prologue. This was quite possibly the first sequence to have been penned, and it's sort of a core idea that, sadly, doesn't play as a motif in the narrative. Dear Bungie, your audience isn't too dumb for an in media res plot. I thought ODST was probably the strongest story to date.
On Obsolescence
So I'm playing Splinter Cell Double Agent. Note that I've already beaten Splinter Cell Conviction (or, as I call it, Rainbow 6 District of Columbia--since I can beat it with unsilenced weapons, not using stealth at all).
1) Checkpoints pause the game. Wow, my hard drive isn't that slow. Seriously, there aren't that many variables to save.
2) Interface depends on OMGFUTURISTIC typeface.
This one is much worse than both Chaos Theory. I'm going to play just to try out the coop missions.
On Sympathy
I saw The Social Network and found myself strongly identifying with Mark. His conceptions of revenge really resonated with my own. His doe-eyed acceptance of Sean and the hedonist seeking of the frat lifestyle, not so much. Still, I've had the ending line, "You're not an asshole, you just try too hard to be one." thrown at me before. In fact, his attempt to reconnect with Erica also paralleled my life. This ending was sublime. The narcissist anti-hero had learned his lesson. He had fulfilled the moral criteria for audience acceptance. Luckily, Trent Reznor's contribution to the soundtrack was barely noticeable, save for the opening credits. The droning of the piano combined with a running guy in a hoodie seemed more at place in a horror film. I had heard that some felt that the dialogue was too "smart and witty" and that women were poorly represented. I disagree with both, I felt that the back-and-forth was right at home with my daily speech, and that the female characters had little to do with the narrative except for Erica, the casus belli for Facemash, and the barometer for Mark's internal struggle for perceived accomplishment. Asian starfucker girl only served to parallel the visual stress on Eduardo, who served more as an alter ego (sort of an anti-Tyler Durden) than a character foil. Go see this movie. I'll probably go see Easy A later, since it tries to parallel The Scarlet Letter along with the theme of a-scheme-goes-bigger-than-the-inventor-can-control.
Other Thoughts
Red Dead Redemption is pretty good. While the social commentary isn't quite extraordinary, it's well-delivered. Not a fan of spurring horses, though I suppose it's supposed to be fatiguing and would actually work towards a 1:1 of player action to pawn action.
GTA IV had a good ending. I fought it very fitting for Niko to make it to the Statue of Liberty. A culmination of everything the player has learned (combat, vehicles, chases) after all the trials and descents into worst the American experience has to offer, the protagonist is finally welcomed by the city's mascot as one of her own.
Blur should have a playlist just for Mount Haruna. We really miss the Initial D games here in the States.
The Event is not nearly as good as Lost. The latter would have episodic structure where the two parallel plots would share a common motif or narrative significance. This new show just thinks that mystery and cliffhangers will keep us coming back. You shouldn't have to have texts indicating timeskips. Both plots seem quite boring on their own. And together they barely manage to evoke a "meh'.
Hawaii Five-0 is quite good. The first episode establishes the signoff "Book 'em Danno", and the third establishes the team identity. They're not hamfisted, trying to force it to please fans of the original. But in terms of a police thriller, this does quite well--the chemistry of the two white cops is very entertaining, but it doesn't quite use the Korean star power to its full potential.
Shows from last season that were good: Highschool of the Dead, Mitsudomoe (is the new Minami-ke), Amagami SS (blows KimiKiss out of the water) (Shin over at Atarashii Prelude seems to enjoy this quite a bit) and Asobi Ni Ikuyo! (give it a chance, it's actually smarter than its premise will promise).
Lost Odyssey made me cry like a little girl. Not only is it an impactful character death, they just drag it on and OH MY GOD THERE'S A DDR CLONE FUNERAL PYRE MINIGAME WHAT THE FUCK. Had puffy eyes the next day.
You know what's a very competent stealth action title? Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena. I don't have any particularly strong feelings about it, but I found it quite engaging. But a few bugs and random difficulty spikes make me just fucking give up more than once. Yes, a segue into a signoff. How pretentious of me.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
kill it with freitag!!! [HXB]

- 1) The Radio Dept. - Heaven's On Fire http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz6oixJiA8c
- 2) Bratze - Jean Claude http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40y5zNN7bak
- 3) DiceCream - Whoop Whoop http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbP8tMuQ7sU
- 4) Sykur - Rocketship http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sdAISDUhfI
- 5) Perturbazione - Mao Zeitung http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljN7a1CKeoM
I wish we had 10 tracks for this battle, I had so many! These are my favorites that didn't make the cut for reasons of narrative and variety.
R.I.O. - After The Love (Germany) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJaW9Ai67lA
Emiliana Torrini - Jungle Drum (Tolo Remix) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuwHPSa3zU0 (Note: She's based in London now, so I've replaced her with Sykur, another great act from Iceland)
Juri Gagarin - Kids on Fire Remix (Germany) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxW6YBLSryk
Gramophonedzie - V Got Hacked (Serbia) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7NJLQKDFZ0
Delorean - Deli (Spain) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FosyBy4390
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
HXB--Mixtape 1
2) Broken Bells - The Ghost Inside
3) Amanda Blank - Might Like You Better (GRVRBBRS Remix)
4) The Dirty Secrets - Five Feet of Snow (Miami Horror Remix)
5) Biffy Clyro - Born on a Horse
I've got a 2nd playlist ready and I'm ready to put together another 2 if anyone's up for the challenge.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
reluctant timesinks [bitch & moan]
I didn't have internet for a few hours while I got my oil changed (that's what she said). So I wrote a blog post.
Anyone that's played a 4X game in the last few years has their personal favorites. There are the Civ variants (Civilization, Rise of Nations, Empire Earth), the MoO variants (Masters of Orion, Sins of a Solar Empire, Galactic Civilization, Sword of the Stars). Okay, that last one, Sword of the Stars, is actually unapologetic in its focus on combat. It's a timesink that I'd rather not discuss, like a threesome turned into a drug deal turned into a Mexican standoff.
First of all, I'd like to applaud Civ and Sins for addressing nonkinetic competition through expansions, namely Beyond the Sword and Diplomacy. They allow turtlers to open up a race-wide stat war that is comparatively cheaper than fleet production. I've only installed Beyond the Sword and never really gotten any play out of it, so pretend I don't know shit about it. Likewise, Diplomacy is too far down my play queue to warrant a time commitment.
Pre-DLC, Sins was a great 4X game. Its cultural aspect was sadly, limited to a single planetary structure and its research tree, while better than the mostly multi-linear path of most strategy games, was still limited to economic and expansion buffs. Sure, these are design decisions that keep the gameplay constrained to a tight mix of statistics, but it poses as an aggregate for the arts and entertainment. I'll go as far as to say that warfare and culture are inseperably related, and that their implementation in contemporary strategy games is now irrelevant due to the very thing that made them so popular--computer networks.
Strategy games have greatly benefited from the internet, allowing groups of basement-dwelling nerds to do more than play Warhammer or Age of Empires on a LAN. It's ironic that the fruits of the technology ignore the other resultant cultural phenomenon. For instance, Latin America has a fairly large heavy metal following, but mostly limited to suburban teens who had no other means of sharing their interests than niche communities such as the internet. It allowed communities to be formed around interests rather than ethnicity. There's no such representation in strategy games. In Sins, culture is a singular statistic belonging to a single state, competing with cultures from competing states.
The best representations of communities formed around interests within states are (and get ready to groan), are from Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, I managed to drag BSG into this, shut the fuck up. First, there's the reconciliation movement pre-Occupation. A mostly underground movement, aspects of the internet allowed it to thrive--anonymity and memology of message. Sure, we can extrapolate to past movements using flyers (even fake ones, such as the meme of Atlas in Bioshock). Second, there's Baltar's radio program--lack of anonymity, but insanely popular. The equivalent of a fireside chat (or, a more lol-worthy example, Glenn Beck's daily psychopathy), exists within a nation where the state is hostile to such a message, without necessarily a state-based sponsor.
Let's spew random historical examples of my hypothesis! Information always travels faster than conventional combattants. A viral video will travel faster than a cruise missile, from CONOPS (idea for video) to payload delivery (lulz). During the age of Ancient Warfare (your 1st generation warfare), messengers were dedicated channels of rapid information delivery. If combatants were faster than information, there'd be no reason to cipher "ATTACK AT DAWN" (by the way, this is a classic encryption text). It's also why AWACS and other early warning radar platforms are built--because were it not possible to intercept using time-sensitive targetting data, we'd just keep a contingent of intercepts in the air at all times (as well as completely flooding airspace to dangerous levels). So why is it that it takes me a damn hour to culturally undermine a planet and only 30 seconds to bombard and colonize it?
Where are the nonstate actors in strategy games? Well, there are creeps/pirates but they're almost always dealt with kinetically. The closest examples we have are your various infection/mind control units (see: Starcraft) and ambush troops from the GLA in C&C Generals. State-sponsored insurgencies are worthy of exploration, even at the expense of game mechanic simplicity.
I wouldn't be a pretentious douche unless I brought up the origins of Hellenistic culture--it was Macedonian conquest (and in turn, subjugation) that created a lasting effect on cultural exchange. Resisting urge to bring up BSG again.
One last fucking topic: the influence of religion in strategy games. The British split from the Catholic Church fueled generations of legitimate and insurgent conflicts. We've yet to see a strategy game that can capture the mechanics of the Irish civil War. This style of insurgent kinetic operations would really appeal to fans of micromanagement.
In any case, I can understand the various design decisions that abstract nonkinetic aspects of warfare into an ineffectual last ditch for turtling players, but it's as if the onus to provide clear victors stifles any efforts to capture the cyclical nature of conflict and its relationship to culture and media.
I've already decided that Civilization 5 will be boring, Firaxis sux, and fuck you for pointing out that I'll end up spending 20 hours in the game.
Coming next time is a spray and pray, I promise.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
rag(e)s to riches: the game [Bitch & Moan]
I'm sick today, but I'm still blogging dammit.
Other than the whole mortal coil angle, let's take a look at two notable Western open-world games, the GTA series and the Saints Row series. Both use story events and revenue-generating activity to provide the player with a sense of growth. The stat-based character growth that we last saw in GTA San Andreas is seen also in Saints Row 2, but these are rarely the loci of capital management--the heart and soul of these games is the accumulation of wealth, where clothing, cars, real estate, and social capital are merely status symbols indicative of player progress.
First of all, it's interesting that there's no barometer for total net worth. Well, there are stats such as total money earned and total money spent. However, these are hidden in statistics pages and aren't central to the design--which flies in the face of these games' purpose--not to advance a story (though these are important for setting motivations). In Saints Row, there's a style meter, which grows as the protagonist purchases clothing and real estate. This translates to a multiplier buff in a metacurrency, reputation. GTA 4 goes in the opposite direction, where social capital is the most easily measured (your number of friends, and for some reason, the wallpaper on your phone). These divergent designs both work for different reasons, and no doubt contribute to a feature differentiation. Not that I'm complaining (yet).
The meat of the issue is the cost of goods and arguably services. Since I'm currently playing Saints Row 2, I'll pull from these prices:
A jelly donut:
Real Life: $2 at most
In-game: $85.
Real Life: Delicious, probably a thousand or so calories.
In-game: 70% health. Okay, I suppose this is an incredible value.
20rds 9mm Ammo:
Real Life: $5-10 depending on where you shop.
In-game: $100. What.
Real Life: Fun for the whole family.
In-game: Mostly useless. Ridiculous. I'm assuming these are pre-loaded and come with the magazine. Then, we're close to real life.
Plastic surgery:
Real Life: $thousands, risk of death, not covered by insurance
In-game: $500 all-you-can-eat. Instant recovery.
Real Life: Evade law enforcement, look awesome.
In-game: Evade law enforcement, loow awesome. Fine, for the sake of gameplay, we can ignore the recovery time.
Sweet downtown loft:
Real Life: depending on location, $500k-$2M. Then there are the condo fees, taxes, etc.
In-game: $50k. Cash, no financing. For starters, 50k is what I'd pay in real life for a down payment on a property.
Real Life: Shelter, possibly happiness? Tax shelter? Rent it out?
In-game: Right now I have strippers and ninjas hanging out and drinking booze. Oh yeah, I get access to a bottomless garage and a helipad.
Bonus: Hookers from GTA:
Real Life: hm, I'm not familiar with the market but I'm assuming a few hundred for street meat and thousands for an escort service.
In-game: approx $100.
Real Life: Realizing your life is empty
In-game: Nothing really, your car just bounces up and down. There's no STD statistic.
I'm interested in costs from Fable 2. Anyone got numbers?
In any case, we see a drastic inflation of costs for everyday goods and a significant discount for larger capital purchases. If we were to take in-game prices to represent a different currency, a conversion rate would correct your everyday costs-of-living to be about market. However, this makes the big-ticket items even more affordable.
We can attribute these design choices to two factors: player progression and disposable income. Making the switch from couch surfing to renting usually takes a stable income. The transition from rental to ownership is even more drastic, requiring the ability to make a down payment and afford upkeep costs. Ownership usually sets back the purchaser's buying power temporarily--and while this effect is preserved, the player is able to claw his way out of the burden of ownership rather quickly, if he subscribes to story-centric tasks with an exponentially increasing reward size but fixed reward schedule (the player's willingness to fulfill mission objectives). This is the reason for a logarithmically flat cost range: to avoid a financial grind that players are actually trying to escape (oh look, let's call it Financial Escapism).
One interesting design choice from Saints Row 2 is the ability to purchase businesses--which provide a 20% kickback on purchase price. This amounts to a 100% ROI in 5 in-game days. And since there's no inflation or taxes and the returns are fixed, it's an investment scheme that, for me, makes about $13k/day at the moment. This is a minimal-risk investment (the only risk being running out of cash to purchase food and ammo). These merely make story progress harder but not impossible. Protip: start fights on the street to obtain ammo. This assumes you expend less ammo than you collect, so don't suck at shooting, k? Protip: The Fight Club activity provides free food during matches. Throw away those blunts and fill up on burgers being thrown into a sweaty octagon.
Tangent: In racing games, two opposite attempts have been made in this topic. In Need For Speed Underground 2, car purchases were based on vouchers based on sponsorship instead of vehicle costs. This tied your stable size to your story progression and kept us from windowshopping all day. But game developers also understand that we ENJOY the process. Latter NFS games as well as the Midnight Club series use approximate real costs and enjoy success because a) there isn't really a sub-$10k market for new cars, so your entry barrier is much lower and b) story progression demands exponentially increasing reward sizes with a fixed schedule.
Tangent: Let's take another genre, my masochistic favorite, the Armored Core series. In the early game, there's a focus on trading parts and working with a budget to accomplish goals. Sure, it's a spreadsheet simulator of sorts, but difficulty and reward are matched with story progress, along with a logarithmically flat cost range, make progression bearable. Sure, there's a bit of a grind in this series, but it's mostly your fault--using parts that use more expensive ammo, failing to invest in PA-centric parts, resulting in a higher cost in armor repair, picking more expensive wingmen. There's not much grind for financial leeway, moreso the OCD is instigated by the impulse to obtain an S-rank more than the urge to obtain exotic parts.
Bleh, so that's it. We play games with money in them because of Financial Escapism and its more important features are logarithmic cost range and reward scheduling via story progression and risk to disposable income.
This sorta makes me wish This Is Vegas would finally come out so I can economicanalysisnerdraeg about that game too, but I fucking gave up on that title already.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Baka-Test 4 [Field-Stripping]
If the first three episodes were any indication, hilarity & brain damage will ensue. (ampersand WIN)
[0:15] explanation of "punishment bearer" (akihisa) as something prodigious
[0:23] Real explanation: akihisa is a gofer
[1:00] Cue OP
[3:08] event! with loli shouko = cue upcoming abuse
[3:52] apparently that was a tsundere (
[4:08] flag failure - no lunch
[4:20] akihisa + stupid comment = SUPLEX!! (through portra
[4:28] gah...the chalkboard is talking...
[4:38] oh crap...new loli (hazuki)
[4:42] confirmed as tsundere sister
[4:50] oh, look, it's like a standard character comparison sheet
[5:00] wtf...it's only the 4th episode. *cue love pentagon/gram
[5:12] narrator laziness "We'll explore the details later"
[5:27] wtf secret society inquisition complete with black KKK-style robes
[6:00] tsundere flag - reactivated. lunch delivery
[6:20] sibling betrayal
[6:30] trap character (hideyoshi) calling out tsundere
[6:47] the hell? german tank?
[7:05] shy/boob character(himeji) made "extra" lunch too...gah..i might call out the rest of the episode
predictions
-love triangle/square/pentagon fight-o
-one of the girls (if not both) sucks at cooking
-more than akihisa will try it and suffer
-feelings hurt + akihisa abuse
-add some yuuji abuse since he's there
-trap character glamor shot (just because)
[7:24] more stylization of character design on simple backgrounds. budget anyone?
[7:28] shy/boob character vs. tsundere/dfc - challenge issued
[7:36] more secret society inquisition
[7:50] plea by shy/boob character for mercy
[8:00] plea fail = extra abuse (off camera)
[8:18] INSERT COMMERCIAL HERE
[8:40] rooftop lunch (with himeji) to inevitable fail?
[9:00] yuuji interruption
[9:05] hideyoshi interruption
[9:07] voyeur interruption
[9:20] everyone dies (fucking called it, +4 points)
[9:34] smell test = pain
[9:40] reel swap. okay..where did this cut come from (film borders?)
[9:42] serious face
[9:52] gate to hell/FMA reference
[10:04] trap back from the dead
[10:12] fatalism WIN
[10:30] feign ignorance at bad cooking flag
[10:45] trepidation at drink...doom? cue crisis
[11:10] akihisa feint - will probably fail
[11:17] wow. taking the middle route. impressive +paragon +renegade
[11:34] the damning sentence "I wanted you to be the first person to try it"
[11:36] art style change - aki death flag
[11:56] last second save by yuuji? switch to pencil-paper mode
[12:30] extra death flag - yuuji tells aki love will save him
[12:35] final words? wow...those were dumb
[12:42] switch reels - back to the gate?
[12:50] death
[12:55] yuuji admits to lying
[13:25] aki zombie + tsundere = round 2?
[14:06] tsundere flag activation?
[14:16] miharu (lesbian/fang) interruption
[14:22] another bento layer. goddamnit
[14:50] round 2 delayed + fancy classrooms?
more predictions
-more miharu interruptions + class A gay dude = aki life fail
[15:10] traveling montage - school edition
[15:40] more inquisition...jeez
[15:51] wow...go japan. change the color of those robes and this can't be exported as is
[16:04] aki's doomed by the same face...again
[16:30] crossing paths - fang interrupt imminet?
[17:15] tsundere fail
[17:20] enter gay class A student (called it +1 point)
[17:40] requisite lunch offer = tsundere interrupt
[18:20] tsundere resignation
[18:55] train station lunch = meal of champions/rich hobos
[19:00] teacher/narrator entrance?
[19:24] accidental pain to detention. all lunch plans fail
[20:05] tsundere venting
[20:50] aki entrance at trash can = wants to scrape dish clean?
[21:08] haiti reference? TLs must be screwing with me
[21:30] tsundere cheerup
[22:00] ED - after scene next (please)?
[23:36] no after scene... :\
Eh...too much work for +5 points. Maybe I'll do another one of these for a less joke driven show. If this doesn't get you to have an opinion on this show, I fucking give up.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
State of the Union [Spray and Pray]
Let's destroy
Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Beta
I've gotten the Xbox 360 demo and the PC beta.
360: Little lag. Plays just like Bad Company 1. Vehicle controls are better.
PC: Lags like shit. Server browser causes CTD. Lags like shit. GUI is poorly-designed, uses too much abbreviation. Lags like shit.
General: Still no prone?! UAVs = fucking awesome. Destruction 2.0 = the camping-killer. New unlock system = CoD4-inspired. I'm ambivalent. But, it's still in the Bad Company subfranchise and so of course I'll play it. For now, stick to the 360 demo. Ranking is locked at Private II and all class unlocks are limited to Lvl 2. You'll start with the AEK-791, 9A91, PKM, and M24--and unlock the XM8, SCAR-LC, M249, Type 88, and the tracer dart. Happy hunting.
Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu
This show is the brain-melting culturally-aware show of the season. It's pretty much pure gold to anyone who consumes the anime medium. Let's count!
- Zetsuboushita! A bit too early to reference the 3-season juggernaut that is Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei?
- Hideyoshi has a magical girl transformation. Despite being a guy. And transforms into his own clothes again. This trap-ism becomes a gimmick for the rest of the show, and there's already porn of him. Yes. He's essentially the show's mascot.
- There's a running subtitle side conversation, in the style of Colbert's The Word. It's new to the medium, but the content is stale.
- I love how the SPECIAL ACE of the team is actually the most useless.
- There's another running gag where the seme/uke relationship is consistently disgusting.
- Usually saved for the season finale, the ultimate battle plan fails. In episode 2.
- Oh god, the Ranka Lee (Macross Frontier) gang sign is viral. We'll be seeing it in the Gundam 00 movie, Christ.
- Tons of visual gags and great design choices, which really make the most of the genre.
Chuu Bra
I don't know what to make of this show. If we were to take the narrative from a purely textual point of view, it'd be a story about female development, societal mores, and amateur couture. If you actually watch the show, you'll find it to be what amounts to Japan's next wave of statutory rape. Somehow, the Batman-style transitions makes me think that Adam West is going to pop out and fondle little girls. Another thing to note is that they reference the job of an industry monitor, which, as I understand it, does not cooperate with the design house. Those guys use fit models and the feedback stays in-house. The previews are creative and are omake-esque. Overall, the show is too risque for its best audience--young girls 12-16.
Dance in the Vampire Bund
I haven't followed this show much, but from what I can tell, it's weird, quirky, and different. The character designs are detailed and a lot of care went into adapting it from the manga. Watch the pilot all the way through and decide if you're into it then.
Durarara!!
Show of the year. Yes, I've already called it. It's the perfect followup to Baccano!, as the same animation studio does the work. The original story comes from the same author and the character design comes from the same guy who did Yozakura Quartet and it shows--the show makes constant nods to Quartet, Spice and Wolf, and Baccano. Hell, there are way too many cat ears in these shows. Go ahead and check, I shit you not. This blog will still be here when you come back. Fucking boot up the Googles and look for the cat ears. And suffer the knowledge as I do. The plot is far less confusing than Baccano's, which had far too many timejumps for the typical viewer; this show's episodic structure deals with the narrative with thematic selection. There's a typical white vs black conflict, but that's not fully explored so far and for some reason there's the brown man, a black Russian (what the hell), so we've got a three-way power struggle that makes no sense but is hilarious. There's also a mystery group, the DOLLARS, whose colored visual vocabulary has only been hinted. Why are you still reading this start fucking torrenting.
Sora no Woto
This is basically the new K-On. 5-piece band in a post-apocalyptic world. Oh look, AMAZING GRACE IN THE FUTUUUUURE. There's a walking tank (is there any other kind?) that serves as the retrofuturist lampshade for the premise. I'm hoping for a little more musical emphasis (K-On had a little, but it was for a few brief moment), particularly regarding brass instruments. Our main female lead has a terrible weakass embosure, it makes me cringe. Anyway, the setting reminds me of the Festival de la Tomate, so it's trying to be somewhat Euro-centric. Oh yes, the token tsundere plays the clarinet, what a big fucking surprise (I play the clarinet as well. Does that make me a man-tsundere?). They have a mascot, an owl, which is on their unit patches--this instantly made me think of Pumpkin Scissors, but instead of a giant killing machine they have lolis. The OP really catches my eye because it reminds me a Elfen Lied's OP/ED, pulling from the gold leaf murals of Gustav Klimt (the only Sezessionstil artist you will ever need to know). Drop this show unless you like K-On.
Caprica
GENTRIFICATION IN SPAAAAACE. Only seen the pilot, missed last night's episode. Okay, it's not terrible but the plot is very easy to mock. Replace Cylons with golems and we've got a crappy fantasy show. The Greystones are your typical well-to-do family with a typically rebellious daughter. Zoe is some mastermind genius religious character. The Adamas are interesting, as the plot paints their origin as Taurons to be something of a mix between the Sicilian mafia and the Palestinians. The mixing of technological, ethnic, and religious topics is interesting, so I'll be following this show because there's a BSG-sized vacuum in my life.
Johnny Foreigner - Cranes and Cranes and Cranes and Cranes
Desert Sessions - You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar But I Feel Like A Millionaire
Owl City - Strawberry Avalanche
Philip Glass - Metamorphosis (Movement I)
T.O.K. - SHOTTAS/HOTTA
Nanquan Mama feat. MC Hotdog - Here We Go
Ultraviolet - Spin Like A DJ
New Boyz feat. Ray Z - Tie Me Down
G-Dragon - Heartbreaker
Ramona Rey vs Ayuze Kozue - Find Sundae & Take It
Fujiya & Miyagi - Knickerboxer
Hail Mary Mallon - D-Up
I'm spent. I fucki- Oh look, how about you stick around for some dessert?
Spice and Wolf S1 OP
Fucking give up already. (Today's pop culture count: 25)
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