One small step for douchebag, one giant leap, for douchekind.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

UX Case Study: Persona 4 (Team Composition)

DAT YUKIKO
First, I haven't actually beaten Persona 4.  I've just beaten Heaven, which had probably one of the best boss battles in any JRPG.  It's quite possibly ATLUS's most prominent piece de resistance.  That said, I've got a few gripes about JRPGs in general, because if we're perfectly honest, they're just spreadsheets with pretty pictures.  Good design patterns explain to the user how the game is meant to be played, but Persona 4 fails to provide tools that facilitate workflow, instead sticking to traditional hierarchal menus.

I've got enough pictures to do a few of these posts, but let's pick one topic for now.  For the final boss of Heaven, Kuni no Sagiri, you need maximum awareness of your personae weaknesses.  (If you're curious, Kuni no Sagiri has 3 attack patterns--1st Quad Coverage will do a universal buff/debuff so only 1 primary element is given a 200% weight and to determine this element your team must guard to avoid knockdown, 2nd a party member is afflicted by confusion and previous pattern continues, 3rd he will spam physical attacks and you need a persona with Phys strong/null/repel/drain.)

Sorry about the quality, my video capture card is ripped out right now so I used a DSLR.

Task: Team Composition

Need Case


Infinitely better than Minecraft

This is the dungeon screen.  This is where you first have the ability to compose and adjust your team.  In fact, this is the only place where you can swap out members.  This creates an interesting gameplay mechanic that gives value to Certain Escape, Traesto, and Goho-M.  It places additional risk into the calculus you must perform to determine your bingo point and switch out members.  Let's get started and add Brosuke to your party.
Not-so-subtle nod to Metal Gear Solid 2
This design pattern requires that the player walk to the desired party member and add him to the party.  This vastly differs from the design pattern of recent Final Fantasy games of toggle and commit.  This is a minor annoyance that the player must experience every time he enters a new dungeon.  Let's say I've added my A-team, Brosuke, Chie, and Yukiko.

Pressing Triangle pulls up the root menu

Let's look up the weakness tables for my team, so let's go to their personas.
Yeah, my character is named Man Assface, of course.  It adds humor to all the wrong moments.

There's a lot of information packed in here, and the density is actually fairly nice.  To get here, I had to press Triangle, 3x Dpad down, X, at least 1x Dpad down, X. At least 7 inputs to access Chie's elemental affinities.  It's nice that the persona's arcana aren't presented here, since it's largely irrelevant outside of the fusion task.


Here's Brosuke. What is never explained is the question marks underneath the Next Level block.  These represent future skills that can be learned.  You'd have to go on Gamefaqs to find these, but these do affect the evolution of your party members.  In Final Fantasy 13 parlance, he starts as a Medic, Commando, and Ravager.  He becomes a better Ravager, and gains Jammer and Enhancer abilities; his Medic and Commando abilities become obsolete and you taper them off at your discretion.


This is Yukiko's.  What isn't explicitly explained is the rock-papers-scissors system of the primary elements.  Fire is weak to Ice is weak to Electricity is weak to Wind is weak to Fire.  If you see an enemy use a fire-element attack, countering with ice may be a reliable bet (though this is not always the case).  You can see that Yukiko is able to nullify all attacks of her fire affinity and is weak to ice attacks.

Let's hit Circle and select my character.

Disney Lawyers, attack!
Well we want to check elemental affinities, so let's hit Square.  Assigning your default persona is useful, but considering you can switch them within a turn so there's not a huge penalty.

Those sandals are FIERCE bro
First, Siegfried is great for turtling against enemies that have a preference for physical attacks.  He has great Synergist and Commando properties as well as great passive buffs.  But one thing the player learns throughout the course of gameplay is the difference between the resistance types of Strong (reduced damage), Null (take 0 damage), Repel (damage is reflected--essentially a guaranteed counter attack), and Drain (damage inflicted is converted into healing).  I have to hit L1/R1 to cycle through my personae to check that my team composition doesn't leave my character weak against any one element type with adequate warning.

To recap:

ಠ___ಠ Seriously?
From this I can tell that Yukiko is going to be a liability, and I should take steps to minimize her risks by equiping ice-reduction items, evasion items, increasing her social link rank, and blocking often.

Normal Case

I'm going to keep working on this and edit the post, but here's food for thought:  Warm colors for weakness, cool colors for strength?


Saturday, June 30, 2012

[Just Fucking Shut Up] Utter Clusterfuck



Robotics;Notes just came out.  Will it be able to meet our expectations from Steins;Gate and Chaos;Head?  As long as it doesn't pull its narrative from Heart of Darkness, 2012 has too many of those already.

Anyway, we recorded a podcast forever ago but I got too busy to post. (And Megaupload got SWAT'd).  We had 5 people, it was an utter clusterfuck.  More so than usual.  Very, very, NSFW.

http://depositfiles.com/files/mln00q5l5

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Years from now, we'll all look back and realize Guilty Crown was the greatest cultural artifact of 2012. Sure, you're laughing now, but you'll see. You'll see that its irrational characters, its internal inconsistency, and its plothole bonanza, all serve to create a single, compelling narrative of the likes that we have never known, and may never see again.

Oh, you'll see. We'll all sit down, and cry when Shu discovers that he's been the target of his sister's incestuous infatuation. When Inori kills someone, we'll shudder, knowing the remorse and guilt that she is truly wracked with. Gai's revival, will be bittersweet, as we both cheer and curse his existence.

And the tropes! Oh, the wonderful tropes! We'll never see such an amazing amalgation of contemporary Japanese animation tropes for years, perhaps even decades. Where else will we find such a perfect collection of bad cooking sheltered girls, disabled tsunderes, and robot catgirl maid hackers?

Like true geniuses, Guilty Crown is light years ahead of its time. May future generations laugh as our unrefined tastes were so shallow and unable to truly grasp its greatness.

...or maybe not. Maybe we will not be able to, and future viewing of this show only used to shock, horrify and disappoint. If it is so, manking truly has a grim future ahead of it.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

[Just Fucking Shut Up] Robocop caused 9/11



http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RA77KNBM

We didn't play the podcast game this time!  Avoided all the juicier animu topics because Andy's out
  • Payday: The Heist is a great Left 4 Dead mod that we don't want to pay for
  • OCCUPY TILLAMOOK IS A THING THAT EXISTS
  • Bryan threatens to kick Nathan off the podcast
  • Bryan and Nathan tell a shitty 9/11 joke
  • 1vs100 is an unintentional reality show
  • Black people don't play Armored Core except for two Xbros named Black Jesus
  • Black people can't play fighting games
  • http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/49267
  • Call of Duty and Battlefield sales don't matter, it's the web-based statistics pages that are advancing the products.
  • DOWNLOAD SERVICES SHOWDOWN
  • DESURA IS RUN BY MEEHECANS
  • AMAZON IS RUN BY...suits that want to destroy Steam
  • Amazon vs Box vs Dropbox CLOUD STORAGE ARMS RACE
  • CIRCLE JERKS ARE ARMS RACES WHERE EVERYONE WINS
  • Season Passes: Subscription vs Pre-purchase model?
  • EA SPORTS IS MAGIC
  • Project Ten Dollar--inevitably comes down to license to use vs ownership of good.
  • Light painting is so bourgeoisie
  • Turn off your cell phones in the woods, people. WELCOME TO 2G.
  • SYNDICATE: I DID ASK FOR THIS
  • FROZEN SYNAPSE IS SOMETHING I HAD TO BUY AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
  • (We play Frozen Synapse against each other mid-podcast)
  • Dungeon Defenders is a thing that can be bought for money and played.
  • Costume Quest is another thing that can be bought.
  • OFFICIAL MANDATE: Bryan must complete Persona 4 before the anime finishes up
  • Take ALL the painkillers
  • BROS BEFORE HOS (Persona 4 is a reverse trap dating simulator and that's all you need to know)
  • Brick is a movie that we should watch
  • Terra Nova is not a good show
  • 13 Assassins is boring
  • Mean Girls is totally not on my Netflix queue
  • LesboDrum! (Mawaru Penguindrum)
  • Lust Caution is a high budget porno
  • Metal Gear Solid 4 is softcore man porn
  • Google+ is Facebook for people who have firewalls at work
  • Nathan and Ling Ling look for jobs on USAjobs.gov
  • Manyuu Hikenchou < Freezing.  Freezing is the king.
  • Denpa [Onna to Seishun Otoko] is about breaking your arm that one summer where you did stuff
  • There's no such thing as a free motorboat
  • Phi Brain NEEDS TO BE STAR DRIVER WITH PUZZLES
  • Dubs are better than subs nowadays if they don't take themselves seriously
  • [Shakugan no] Shana is good this season
  • Cripple chick can't catch a break HAHA GET IT (Honey and Clover Season 1)
  • Blood-C is Freezing but with SWEET SWEET RELEASE
  • Hebrew and Yiddish are different things that we can't explain
  • Ling Ling measures this physical fitness with actions per minute
  • Hulu has Infinite Stratos now.  Apply head to desk.  We're done here.
Things we discussed after recording:
  • Epilepsy + AIDS = Epilaids
  • Nyanners is an old balding man
  • BROHOOF
  • Progeria causes brain damage on Youtube
  • Nathan thinks that a world where Japanese women have big breasts is a "nightmare world"
  • Nathan thinks stealth Asians are awesomer
  • Bryan: "One ticket to nightmare world, please."
  • Bryan laughs at your cheap prostitution given the weak dollar-to-yuan exchange rate
  • We talk about unionizing prostitution in Germany
  • Ling Ling cooks ramen LIVE
  • Nathan: "He talked with his fist into Brosuke's face"
  • (Playing Dungeon Defenders) Ling Ling: "I'm going to turn him white.  Wait.  This isn't white."
  • Ling Ling: "I can't make him white.  So I'll make him Communist."

Monday, May 16, 2011

[Just Fucking Shut Up] We love the SHAFT


The JFGUcast game is as follows:
  1. +1 point if Andy is eating something
  2. +5 points if we're on Wikipedia looking it up
  3. +5 points if Bryan brings up industrial design or art history
  4. +5 points if Nathan mentions a novel nobody else has read
  5. +5 points if one of us gets an IM or phone call during podcast
  6. +10 points if one of us is playing a game while podcasting
  7. +20 points if we start recreating scenes from Star Driver or Guren Lagann 

In this thread:
  • Nerdbait
  • MADOKAS
  • PS3 Development is NDA'd'd
  • Crunchyroll has shitty original content
  • KareKano was good
  • HanaIro is about a bubbly narcissist
  • Hoshizora is like Akaneiro no Somaru Saka but with 50% more homo wincest
  • I like Da Capo because I used to be an emofag
  • OreTsuba has the worst pilot of all time
  • Shuffle sucked because it had COUGAR END
  • I SUCK AT JAPANESE OKAY
  • Japan doesn't understand the concept of heavy drug use
  • Steins;Gate CHRISTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINA
  • Clannad is a thing you should watch
  • Ace Combat is unoriginal but I play all of them
  • SPECULAH is a word
  • DOO DOO DOOOOOO
  • HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER
  • Full Metal Exorcist is like Soul Eater
  • Japan doesn't understand the concept of demonology
  • Johnny Depp is exploitable
  • We still love SHAFT
  • As long as they don't turn into Gonzo
  • Because Gonzo really sucks
  • I make bad tsunami jokes
  • Andy makes a Spaceballs reference that I didn't get
  • MOAIDS IS KILLING JAPAN
  • Andy makes HILARIOUS GAY JOKES NO SERIOUSLY
  • Blassreiter is weird and not fun 
  • But Linebarrels is quirky and enjoyable
  • Rosario Vampire was meta
  • Fafner is for emofags
  • I don't understand why my cousin likes Saki
  • What the fuck is Nyanpire?
  • Last Exile Season 2 is make-or-break
  • Full Metal Panic Season 3 would print money
  • ANDY IS REALLY ANNOYING USING GOOGLE DOCS
  • Japan doesn't understand the concept of an umlaut
  • Astaroth is a large burly Kugyu
  • SHAFT shows = boy meets eccentric girl
  • I nerd out over Yamamoto Yoko AGAIN
  • Persona 4 is a thing you should play (oh hypocrisy)
  • Macross Frontier is something we won't admit to loving
  • Hidan no Aria is now Highschool of the Tsukaima May Cry D:
  • Azazel-san is a thing that is good
  • C is now Shin Moneybag Tensei
  • We should force Andy to play ATLUS games and finish Honey and Clover
  • We love noitaminA shows
  • Except Jyu Oh Sei, fuck that shit
  • Andy makes an earthquake joke
  • I propose another rejected trope (girls with tasers!)
  • Apparently Source Code is a movie that doesn't suck? (Lies)

I found this on the internet.  Weeaboomods are the only reason to play Fallout games.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Just Fucking Denounce Me #Civ5

So I've had two very very weird experiences this weekend:

1)  A game where we had NO wars from Ancient Era to 1900.  Yeah.  It helps we were all archipelago'd out.

2)  A game where I reluctantly became Germany in WWII.

Let's talk about the latter:
Babylonians, Raging Barbs, Ancient Era, Continents.  12/4 AI.
a) Right off the bat, the Incas don't settle their city on the first 3 turns.  I show them the error of their ways by immediately killing their settlers.  Incas removed from game.
b) So I meet my neighbors.  India, Germany, Russia, America, Japan, Mongolia.
c) Germany seems to be the troublemaker, and I'm striking up friendships with America and Japan, India less so.
d) Germany goes to war with US and Japan, tries to recruit me.  I lost my military assets while scouting (Raging Barbs are fun) so I really couldn't shore up the forces in 10 turns.  Plus, I was thinking about getting a UN victory this time since I've never done that.
e) India joins our coalition, and Germany calls a ceasefire.  But they're still really pushing those boundaries hard and we're starting to get really close to each other.  But luckily we've just gotten Open Borders tech, so scouting farther ahead we see that Warsaw is the only CS on our continent.  Polynesia appears to be on another continent.
f) Germany looks like its building up troops again, but now Mongolia invades.  I defend myself on one front while preparing to fight Germany on another.
g) Mongolia was just testing me, I made it to their capital but it was too well fortified.  I move my troops to the German border to cover a US and Japanese rebuildup.
h) Japan doesn't appreciate this and declares war on me.  Apparently they roped America in with them.  So over 2 rounds of fighting and ceasefire, I had to take them down one at a time.  Japan had set up a pocket of resistance on the ocean and America had a small river fortress that was rather pointless (because my capital was on the same river delta, DERP.)
i) I beat them both down, but India, my only steadfast ally through this, starts distancing itself.  Soon, the rest of the continent denounces me.  India and Russia are both running single-city strategies, Mongolia rapid expansion.  I took this brief period of peace to reinvest in infrastructure and tackle a wonder or two.
j) Fucking Germany.  They take my weakest Japanese city.  I build things back up and well fuck, Mongolia jumps in.  I'm in a two-front war.  I run headfirst in the German capital, by this time I've got Civil War-era weaponry, so sieges are rather easy against his late-Medieval troops (who were very threatening mid-game because they get Landsknechts sooner than Longswordsmen, and Babylonians are only optimized for early-game plinking).
k) Mongolia manages to hold me off at its Capital, so I build up troops for the inevitable.  They do the same.  I take the initiative this time, trying to pull them into an ex-American stronghold (hill fortress).  It doesn't work, they go for the ex-Japanese coastal pocket.  Ugh.  India joins in to opportunistically take advantage.  That's low.
l) I beat back Mongolia. Russia still wants at me, so I set up a cordon at a small Mongolian border town.  I fortify it and station some troops.  But I change my mind and leave only 3 troops there so I can free up manpower for India, which is pounding my Production-oriented city.  By this time I have aircraft and I've got them completely boxed in.  After a short ceasefire, I try to get them to loosen that tight formation by giving them Open Borders (I'm after their capital by now, better to let them spread out).  India doesn't take the bait. But the fight is on.  Artillery and aircraft manage to keep them from taking my cities, but FUCK RUSSIA JUST NUKED ME.  Nuked the Mongol territories and took that cordon I had set up.
m)  IMMEDIATELY rebase all my aircraft to ex-American hill fortress to kill off anyone trying to finish off that nuked city.  Eventually I get confident enough with WWI-era infantry that I just fucking airstrike EVERYTHING in the way and use only 2 ground troops to take the entire country.  But India's still a problem.
n)  They have modern sea power and anti-air all over the place.  All of my attempts to airstrike or seastrike their capital fails.  Eventually I set up a rotation for my fighters and bombers that keeps the pressure on (while taking NO air losses) and allows a few tanks to roll in and finish them off.  Jesus.  Fucking rough.  But now I own the whole continent...which doesn't make France or Spain happy.
o) France initially didn't give a shit about my ongoing wars, but Spain and Polynesia fucking hated me.  Eventually France buddied up with Spain and hated me too.  I remember being at war with FUCKING EVERY COUNTRY AND CITY STATE AT ONCE. ;____________________;  So it ended up being Polynesia denouncing me, then a turn later France/Spain doing the same.  But, they mostly left my continent alone.  Eventually I got Satellite tech and saw that they were on two slivers of land.  And since I didn't really explore the ocean much (too occupied with, you know, building land and air units) that I didn't notice that the Persians didn't seem to be big because they were a single-city nation.  I learned my lesson.  For a while I had troops pumped out from my wartime queues, I keep them around since they were Modern Era.  Upgraded all my fighters to Jets.
p) And then came a time of massive massive unhappiness.  I was at -17 happiness, yikes.  Protip:  red fist icon means you can't just annex + purchase courthouse (this tactic costs 820g but gets you a +2 to net happiness).  Did this a few times, but mostly concentrated on happiness buildings + food buildings. Then I unlocked Petrol and nearly simultaneously built science buildings all over the place.  (By the end of the game I had 5 Great Scientists because of this).  My cities were pumping out 150+ science.  Then it was culture.  I got my capital up to +93 culture, turned the ENTIRE COUNTRY to gold production so I could buy up culture buildings in former Russian cities.  Protip:  conquered cities default to GOLD FOCUS.  This may cause cities to build tons of trading posts.  Switch it back to Default Focus if you don't want a crippled city.
q) So, I had built nearly all the improvements for all 15-ish of my cities, decided to knock out the space victory.  Culture victory would take too long, and the UN victory required a 14-vote bloc (there were only 9 available votes because I had killed too many people ;____;)

In the end, I was a secular communist fascist with spread out air power and a small continent of rapid reaction land troops, and a modest 2-ship navy.  And except for in the Russian peninsula, every city was utopia, even the ex-Mongol capital which had recovered from the nuke.  I'd experienced at least 2-3 two-front wars tonight.  They're just exhausting.  I'm just lucky that they weren't stupid enough to challenge my defensive positions seriously.

YAY, final score 2800s.

Things I learned about myself:

  • The larger my military, the more likely I am to use it.
  • Despite being a huge critic of Cold War theory, I sure as hell tried to use it quite a bit after a ceasefire.
  • I dislike nukes, because they slow down the process of subjugating people.  That sounds so horrible.
  • I almost never play single-city builds, likely due to my bad experience vs Mongolia in the "Evil Empire" scenario I made.  I still have nightmares about a zerg rush of modern tanks mowing down 3x Giant Death Robots.  It's why I turned off the Legions mod (troop stacking and more promotions).
  • Cities regenerate faster than airpower.  If you're not massed up in sufficient numbers, just let the city heal back to full, then get those numbers up. Then rotate in and out so you constantly have a few planes in the green.  By this point, artillery units should be nearly useless and even Battleships should be having trouble.  Start using cruise missiles.
  • If you have only 1 of a luxury resource left, only trade it for another luxury good (preferably one that your people want).  The excess ones should be for new luxury goods and at least 200g in cash.  Hold out if you can.
  • Before you cross a river, remember that line-of-sight may reveal an unpleasant surprise.  Like 4 sides of being surrounded by artillery.
  • Don't be afraid of anti-air batteries.  Numbers will win out the day against them.
  • Never send a last-era troop to take a current-era city.  You're just asking for it.
So, I'm going to sleep now that it's 6AM.  Will format and add pics maybe later? Derp.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Haterade #nerdrage



Oh?  I'm using hashtags now instead of gawker tags.

On Protectionism
So, here's our yearly butthurt over Japanese devs bemoaning their lack of relevance to the global market.  I'm going to give a quick analysis of two titles that I feel merit some discussion.

Exhibit A: Quantum Theory
First of all, it's a pretty fresh dev team and working with Tecmo.  Trying to enter the shooterspace.  Well, this could have been a great chance, were it not for a few massive issues.  It's great that you, smalltime dev, are trying to make a Gears of War clone--seriously, new ideas are always welcome.  But the controls are too different: making sprint and wallglue on two different buttons, wat?  Cursor acceleration (that can't be turned off?) WAT.  Using action-game controls (X for light melee, Y for heavy melee) instead of Gears-friendly B and holding B?  Listen, games that do this (looking at you, Call of Duty and Bad Company), piss us off.  Even Bayonetta did this, but those we learn to adapt by remapping internally.  Even if this were a Japanese action title, this would be unacceptable.


Exhibit B: Lost Planet 2
Sigh.  You were fun, sort of.  You thought that its failure was "Americans don't want Monster Hunter with guns."  Are you shitting me?  We WANT MONSTER HUNTER WITH GUNS.  You delivered something very short of that premise.  It didn't go with the cycle of 1) stock up, 2) locate, 3) tag, 4) combat phases.  If you, Capcom, released this experience as value-priced DLC, copies of LP2 will be selling at full retail again.


I think this points to big problem with Japanese devs across the board.  Your definitions of Western gaming are completely wrong.
1) You see big dudes with big guns, we see an insertion / empowerment fantasy (something your RPGs do quite well).
2) You see over-the-top violence, we see a victory well-earned.
3) You see FPS-centric mechanics, we see agency and intentionality.


You see our titles from the lens that made yours successful, so why not look at the ones that we eat up without any localization efforts?  We love shmups and fighting games because of tight controls.  We love visual novels and Persona because it facilitates insertion.  Japanese and Western gamers have very similar core motivations with a few nuances.  I'm going to attribute this wave of cultural insularism to an unwillingness to blame yourself for your failure as cultural observers.  Or, at the least, blame your fucking market researchers.


On Rivalries
So I own both Modern Warfare 2 and Bad Company 2.  I clearly enjoy both, and will purchase Black Ops and Bad Company 2 Vietnam when they come out.  (Medal of Honor hasn't been able to capture me but that's a nerdrage for another day).  BC2 talks a lot of trash to MW2 in its narrative, specifically referencing characters and setpieces.  However, it clearly doesn't note the similarities.  Both have a team of English-speaking men fighting the Russians.  Both pit you against a singular boss who has a history of backstabbing.  Both contain gratuitous violence against helicopters. Both deal with EMP-like weapons systems.  And in a nod to MW1, the final playable scene in BC2 is a close-quarters fight on an aircraft.  I can vaguely hear Michael Bay cackling in the background during the end credits for both games.


As Art
A lot of people have offered their opinions on MW2, so I'll just stick with new material.  I can see where the development process sort of fell apart.  The campaign was based on a handful of powerful vignettes that probably had great target renders.  MW1 had parallel arcs that came together (something we see in virtually all CoD titles).  However, the narrative of MW2 has no direction and attempts to create anger at Makarov and Shepard (with only Shepard receiving a cathartic resolution) rather than make any effort to develop characters and explain motivations.  It missed a golden opportunity to turn Price into a villain, but instead opted to keep him around for a sequel.  Financial expediency trumping narrative quality, huh?

On Escalation
Play Bayonetta.  Just when you think shit just got real, shit gets realer.  Then play on Hard mode.  Ninja Gaiden 2 would get rock hard over Bayonetta.  This game has nearly infinite replayability.


On Promises
I bought and played Civilization V.  It's great.  It does culture somewhat well, with mutually exclusive tech trees.  Touche.


On Copycats
So, Alan Wake is great.  Its pedigree really shows, as the ending and 1st DLC really explore the metaphysical on top of the psychological.  This game is basically built on top of the idea of foreshadowing--Remedy has really taken the narrative style of Max Payne and have tweaked it nearly to perfection.  The gameplay should be familiar, your flashlight knocks down shadow and the bullets damage flesh.  You're basically playing Halo.  The rock concert showdown will draw inevitable parallels to Left 4 Dead 2, not that I think anyone will complain.  Each episode is timed at around 1 hour and has a pretty fitting ED song.  Alan Wake would have troubles as a weekly TV show, as the pacing is far more deliberate and has a clear sense of escalation.  Still, I had a great time.


On Inevitability
As of today, Halo Reach has eaten nearly 80 hours of my life.  I'll steer away from the multiplayer aspects, as they're just as fun as ever.  I'll start off by stating that I think content was cut that could have made the narrative more complete.  The only character death that I really felt was Jorge's, it's personal, referenced repeatedly, and Noble in design.  Kat's was pointless and drawn out with silence--I would've liked to see the team franticly attempting field medicine.  Subtitles indicated that something was cut here.  It was a wasted opportunity.  Jun doesn't die, he just goes missing in canon.  Carter gets a one-liner send off, a bit more time for the player to dwell and think about his sacrifice would have been appropriate.  Emile, while your death was clearly badass (in a 90s action movie pulling a grenade and taking the enemy with you sort of way), the player doesn't have any sort of emotional response.  It's like we're not supposed to care.  As if he were placed there so we'd have a reason to go there later.  But, I suppose all is forgiven with Lone Wolf.  That one level alone is a very fitting end that meshes nicely with the prologue.  This was quite possibly the first sequence to have been penned, and it's sort of a core idea that, sadly, doesn't play as a motif in the narrative.  Dear Bungie, your audience isn't too dumb for an in media res plot.  I thought ODST was probably the strongest story to date.


On Obsolescence
So I'm playing Splinter Cell Double Agent.  Note that I've already beaten Splinter Cell Conviction (or, as I call it, Rainbow 6 District of Columbia--since I can beat it with unsilenced weapons, not using stealth at all).
1) Checkpoints pause the game.  Wow, my hard drive isn't that slow.  Seriously, there aren't that many variables to save.
2) Interface depends on OMGFUTURISTIC typeface.
This one is much worse than both Chaos Theory.  I'm going to play just to try out the coop missions.


On Sympathy
I saw The Social Network and found myself strongly identifying with Mark.  His conceptions of revenge really resonated with my own.  His doe-eyed acceptance of Sean and the hedonist seeking of the frat lifestyle, not so much.  Still, I've had the ending line, "You're not an asshole, you just try too hard to be one." thrown at me before.  In fact, his attempt to reconnect with Erica also paralleled my life.  This ending was sublime.  The narcissist anti-hero had learned his lesson.  He had fulfilled the moral criteria for audience acceptance.  Luckily, Trent Reznor's contribution to the soundtrack was barely noticeable, save for the opening credits.  The droning of the piano combined with a running guy in a hoodie seemed more at place in a horror film.  I had heard that some felt that the dialogue was too "smart and witty" and that women were poorly represented.  I disagree with both, I felt that the back-and-forth was right at home with my daily speech, and that the female characters had little to do with the narrative except for Erica, the casus belli for Facemash, and the barometer for Mark's internal struggle for perceived accomplishment.  Asian starfucker girl only served to parallel the visual stress on Eduardo, who served more as an alter ego (sort of an anti-Tyler Durden) than a character foil.  Go see this movie.  I'll probably go see Easy A later, since it tries to parallel The Scarlet Letter along with the theme of a-scheme-goes-bigger-than-the-inventor-can-control.

Other Thoughts


Red Dead Redemption is pretty good.  While the social commentary isn't quite extraordinary, it's well-delivered.  Not a fan of spurring horses, though I suppose it's supposed to be fatiguing and would actually work towards a 1:1 of player action to pawn action.


GTA IV had a good ending.  I fought it very fitting for Niko to make it to the Statue of Liberty.  A culmination of everything the player has learned (combat, vehicles, chases) after all the trials and descents into worst the American experience has to offer, the protagonist is finally welcomed by the city's mascot as one of her own.


Blur should have a playlist just for Mount Haruna.  We really miss the Initial D games here in the States.


The Event is not nearly as good as Lost.  The latter would have episodic structure where the two parallel plots would share a common motif or narrative significance.  This new show just thinks that mystery and cliffhangers will keep us coming back.  You shouldn't have to have texts indicating timeskips.  Both plots seem quite boring on their own.  And together they barely manage to evoke a "meh'.


Hawaii Five-0 is quite good.  The first episode establishes the signoff "Book 'em Danno", and the third establishes the team identity.  They're not hamfisted, trying to force it to please fans of the original.  But in terms of a police thriller, this does quite well--the chemistry of the two white cops is very entertaining, but it doesn't quite use the Korean star power to its full potential.


Shows from last season that were good: Highschool of the Dead, Mitsudomoe (is the new Minami-ke), Amagami SS (blows KimiKiss out of the water) (Shin over at Atarashii Prelude seems to enjoy this quite a bit) and Asobi Ni Ikuyo! (give it a chance, it's actually smarter than its premise will promise).


Lost Odyssey made me cry like a little girl.  Not only is it an impactful character death, they just drag it on and OH MY GOD THERE'S A DDR CLONE FUNERAL PYRE MINIGAME WHAT THE FUCK.  Had puffy eyes the next day.


You know what's a very competent stealth action title? Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena. I don't have any particularly strong feelings about it, but I found it quite engaging.  But a few bugs and random difficulty spikes make me just fucking give up more than once.  Yes, a segue into a signoff.  How pretentious of me.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

kill it with freitag!!! [HXB]









I wish we had 10 tracks for this battle, I had so many! These are my favorites that didn't make the cut for reasons of narrative and variety.
Vegastar - 5h dans ta Peau (France) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP4e2pC_YuU
Singleton - If I'm Falling (Ukraine) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-2hAg9kasM
R.I.O. - After The Love (Germany) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJaW9Ai67lA
Emiliana Torrini - Jungle Drum (Tolo Remix) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuwHPSa3zU0 (Note: She's based in London now, so I've replaced her with Sykur, another great act from Iceland)
Juri Gagarin - Kids on Fire Remix (Germany) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxW6YBLSryk
Gramophonedzie - V Got Hacked (Serbia) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7NJLQKDFZ0

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

HXB--Mixtape 1



1) Mark Ronson & The Business INTL - Bang Bang Bang
2) Broken Bells - The Ghost Inside
3) Amanda Blank - Might Like You Better (GRVRBBRS Remix)
4) The Dirty Secrets - Five Feet of Snow (Miami Horror Remix)
5) Biffy Clyro - Born on a Horse

I've got a 2nd playlist ready and I'm ready to put together another 2 if anyone's up for the challenge.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

reluctant timesinks [bitch & moan]



I didn't have internet for a few hours while I got my oil changed (that's what she said).  So I wrote a blog post.


Anyone that's played a 4X game in the last few years has their personal favorites.  There are the Civ variants (Civilization, Rise of Nations, Empire Earth), the MoO variants (Masters of Orion, Sins of a Solar Empire, Galactic Civilization, Sword of the Stars).  Okay, that last one, Sword of the Stars, is actually unapologetic in its focus on combat.  It's a timesink that I'd rather not discuss, like a threesome turned into a drug deal turned into a Mexican standoff.

First of all, I'd like to applaud Civ and Sins for addressing nonkinetic competition through expansions, namely Beyond the Sword and Diplomacy.  They allow turtlers to open up a race-wide stat war that is comparatively cheaper than fleet production.  I've only installed Beyond the Sword and never really gotten any play out of it, so pretend I don't know shit about it.  Likewise, Diplomacy is too far down my play queue to warrant a time commitment.

Pre-DLC, Sins was a great 4X game.  Its cultural aspect was sadly, limited to a single planetary structure and its research tree, while better than the mostly multi-linear path of most strategy games, was still limited to economic and expansion buffs.  Sure, these are design decisions that keep the gameplay constrained to a tight mix of statistics, but it poses as an aggregate for the arts and entertainment.  I'll go as far as to say that warfare and culture are inseperably related, and that their implementation in contemporary strategy games is now irrelevant due to the very thing that made them so popular--computer networks.

Strategy games have greatly benefited from the internet, allowing groups of basement-dwelling nerds to do more than play Warhammer or Age of Empires on a LAN.  It's ironic that the fruits of the technology ignore the other resultant cultural phenomenon.  For instance, Latin America has a fairly large heavy metal following, but mostly limited to suburban teens who had no other means of sharing their interests than niche communities such as the internet.  It allowed communities to be formed around interests rather than ethnicity.  There's no such representation in strategy games.  In Sins, culture is a singular statistic belonging to a single state, competing with cultures from competing states.

The best representations of communities formed around interests within states are (and get ready to groan), are from Battlestar Galactica.  Yeah, I managed to drag BSG into this, shut the fuck up.  First, there's the reconciliation movement pre-Occupation.  A mostly underground movement, aspects of the internet allowed it to thrive--anonymity and memology of message.  Sure, we can extrapolate to past movements using flyers (even fake ones, such as the meme of Atlas in Bioshock).  Second, there's Baltar's radio program--lack of anonymity, but insanely popular.  The equivalent of a fireside chat (or, a more lol-worthy example, Glenn Beck's daily psychopathy), exists within a nation where the state is hostile to such a message, without necessarily a state-based sponsor.

Let's spew random historical examples of my hypothesis!  Information always travels faster than conventional combattants.  A viral video will travel faster than a cruise missile, from CONOPS (idea for video) to payload delivery (lulz).  During the age of Ancient Warfare (your 1st generation warfare), messengers were dedicated channels of rapid information delivery.  If combatants were faster than information, there'd be no reason to cipher "ATTACK AT DAWN" (by the way, this is a classic encryption text).  It's also why AWACS and other early warning radar platforms are built--because were it not possible to intercept using time-sensitive targetting data, we'd just keep a contingent of intercepts in the air at all times (as well as completely flooding airspace to dangerous levels).  So why is it that it takes me a damn hour to culturally undermine a planet and only 30 seconds to bombard and colonize it?

Where are the nonstate actors in strategy games? Well, there are creeps/pirates but they're almost always dealt with kinetically.  The closest examples we have are your various infection/mind control units (see: Starcraft) and ambush troops from the GLA in C&C Generals.  State-sponsored insurgencies are worthy of exploration, even at the expense of game mechanic simplicity.

I wouldn't be a pretentious douche unless I brought up the origins of Hellenistic culture--it was Macedonian conquest (and in turn, subjugation) that created a lasting effect on cultural exchange.  Resisting urge to bring up BSG again.

One last fucking topic:  the influence of religion in strategy games.  The British split from the Catholic Church fueled generations of legitimate and insurgent conflicts.  We've yet to see a strategy game that can capture the mechanics of the Irish civil War.  This style of insurgent kinetic operations would really appeal to fans of micromanagement.

In any case, I can understand the various design decisions that abstract nonkinetic aspects of warfare into an ineffectual last ditch for turtling players, but it's as if the onus to provide clear victors stifles any efforts to capture the cyclical nature of conflict and its relationship to culture and media.

I've already decided that Civilization 5 will be boring, Firaxis sux, and fuck you for pointing out that I'll end up spending 20 hours in the game.

Coming next time is a spray and pray, I promise.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

rag(e)s to riches: the game [Bitch & Moan]


I'm sick today, but I'm still blogging dammit.

Other than the whole mortal coil angle, let's take a look at two notable Western open-world games, the GTA series and the Saints Row series. Both use story events and revenue-generating activity to provide the player with a sense of growth. The stat-based character growth that we last saw in GTA San Andreas is seen also in Saints Row 2, but these are rarely the loci of capital management--the heart and soul of these games is the accumulation of wealth, where clothing, cars, real estate, and social capital are merely status symbols indicative of player progress.

First of all, it's interesting that there's no barometer for total net worth. Well, there are stats such as total money earned and total money spent. However, these are hidden in statistics pages and aren't central to the design--which flies in the face of these games' purpose--not to advance a story (though these are important for setting motivations). In Saints Row, there's a style meter, which grows as the protagonist purchases clothing and real estate. This translates to a multiplier buff in a metacurrency, reputation. GTA 4 goes in the opposite direction, where social capital is the most easily measured (your number of friends, and for some reason, the wallpaper on your phone). These divergent designs both work for different reasons, and no doubt contribute to a feature differentiation. Not that I'm complaining (yet).

The meat of the issue is the cost of goods and arguably services. Since I'm currently playing Saints Row 2, I'll pull from these prices:

A jelly donut:
Real Life: $2 at most
In-game: $85.
Real Life: Delicious, probably a thousand or so calories.
In-game: 70% health. Okay, I suppose this is an incredible value.

20rds 9mm Ammo:
Real Life: $5-10 depending on where you shop.
In-game: $100. What.
Real Life: Fun for the whole family.
In-game: Mostly useless.  Ridiculous. I'm assuming these are pre-loaded and come with the magazine. Then, we're close to real life.

Plastic surgery:
Real Life: $thousands, risk of death, not covered by insurance
In-game: $500 all-you-can-eat. Instant recovery.
Real Life: Evade law enforcement, look awesome.
In-game: Evade law enforcement, loow awesome. Fine, for the sake of gameplay, we can ignore the recovery time.

Sweet downtown loft:
Real Life: depending on location, $500k-$2M. Then there are the condo fees, taxes, etc.
In-game: $50k. Cash, no financing. For starters, 50k is what I'd pay in real life for a down payment on a property.
Real Life: Shelter, possibly happiness? Tax shelter? Rent it out?
In-game: Right now I have strippers and ninjas hanging out and drinking booze. Oh yeah, I get access to a bottomless garage and a helipad.

Bonus: Hookers from GTA:
Real Life: hm, I'm not familiar with the market but I'm assuming a few hundred for street meat and thousands for an escort service.
In-game: approx $100.
Real Life: Realizing your life is empty
In-game: Nothing really, your car just bounces up and down. There's no STD statistic.

I'm interested in costs from Fable 2. Anyone got numbers?

In any case, we see a drastic inflation of costs for everyday goods and a significant discount for larger capital purchases. If we were to take in-game prices to represent a different currency, a conversion rate would correct your everyday costs-of-living to be about market. However, this makes the big-ticket items even more affordable.

We can attribute these design choices to two factors: player progression and disposable income. Making the switch from couch surfing to renting usually takes a stable income. The transition from rental to ownership is even more drastic, requiring the ability to make a down payment and afford upkeep costs. Ownership usually sets back the purchaser's buying power temporarily--and while this effect is preserved, the player is able to claw his way out of the burden of ownership rather quickly, if he subscribes to story-centric tasks with an exponentially increasing reward size but fixed reward schedule (the player's willingness to fulfill mission objectives). This is the reason for a logarithmically flat cost range: to avoid a financial grind that players are actually trying to escape (oh look, let's call it Financial Escapism).

One interesting design choice from Saints Row 2 is the ability to purchase businesses--which provide a 20% kickback on purchase price. This amounts to a 100% ROI in 5 in-game days. And since there's no inflation or taxes and the returns are fixed, it's an investment scheme that, for me, makes about $13k/day at the moment. This is a minimal-risk investment (the only risk being running out of cash to purchase food and ammo). These merely make story progress harder but not impossible. Protip: start fights on the street to obtain ammo. This assumes you expend less ammo than you collect, so don't suck at shooting, k? Protip: The Fight Club activity provides free food during matches. Throw away those blunts and fill up on burgers being thrown into a sweaty octagon.

Tangent: In racing games, two opposite attempts have been made in this topic. In Need For Speed Underground 2, car purchases were based on vouchers based on sponsorship instead of vehicle costs. This tied your stable size to your story progression and kept us from windowshopping all day. But game developers also understand that we ENJOY the process. Latter NFS games as well as the Midnight Club series use approximate real costs and enjoy success because a) there isn't really a sub-$10k market for new cars, so your entry barrier is much lower and b) story progression demands exponentially increasing reward sizes with a fixed schedule.

Tangent: Let's take another genre, my masochistic favorite, the Armored Core series. In the early game, there's a focus on trading parts and working with a budget to accomplish goals. Sure, it's a spreadsheet simulator of sorts, but difficulty and reward are matched with story progress, along with a logarithmically flat cost range, make progression bearable. Sure, there's a bit of a grind in this series, but it's mostly your fault--using parts that use more expensive ammo, failing to invest in PA-centric parts, resulting in a higher cost in armor repair, picking more expensive wingmen. There's not much grind for financial leeway, moreso the OCD is instigated by the impulse to obtain an S-rank more than the urge to obtain exotic parts.

Bleh, so that's it. We play games with money in them because of Financial Escapism and its more important features are logarithmic cost range and reward scheduling via story progression and risk to disposable income.

This sorta makes me wish This Is Vegas would finally come out so I can economicanalysisnerdraeg about that game too, but I fucking gave up on that title already.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Baka-Test 4 [Field-Stripping]

a nice cup of doom[yep...i just used comic-sans just to irritate you]

If the first three episodes were any indication, hilarity & brain damage will ensue. (ampersand WIN)

[0:15] explanation of "punishment bearer" (akihisa) as something prodigious
[0:23] Real explanation: akihisa is a gofer
[1:00] Cue OP
[3:08] event! with loli shouko = cue upcoming abuse
[3:38] college life SAVANT + bad ramen math
[3:52] apparently that was a tsundere (
minami) flag...gah...
[4:08] flag failure - no lunch
[4:20] akihisa + stupid comment = SUPLEX!! (through portra
it scene cut)

chalkboards are talking...again (a la pani poni dash X zetsubou sensei[chalkboard a la pani poni dash X zetsubou sensei]

[4:28] gah...the chalkboard is talking...
[4:38] oh crap...new loli (hazuki)
[4:42] confirmed as tsundere sister
[4:50] oh, look, it's like a standard character comparison sheet
[5:00] wtf...it's only the 4th episode. *cue love pentagon/gram
[5:12] narrator laziness "We'll explore the details later"

yeah...this'll export well[yeah...that'll export just fine]

[5:27] wtf secret society inquisition complete with black KKK-style robes
[6:00] tsundere flag - reactivated. lunch delivery
[6:20] sibling betrayal
[6:30] trap character (hideyoshi) calling out tsundere
[6:47] the hell? german tank?
[7:05] shy/boob character(himeji) made "extra" lunch too...gah..i might call out the rest of the episode

predictions
-love triangle/square/pentagon fight-o
-one of the girls (if not both) sucks at cooking
-more than akihisa will try it and suffer
-feelings hurt + akihisa abuse
-add some yuuji abuse since he's there
-trap character glamor shot (just because)

this is a death flag - thank you persona 4[thank you persona 4 for making primary female character bento a death flag]

[7:24] more stylization of character design on simple backgrounds. budget anyone?
[7:28] shy/boob character vs. tsundere/dfc - challenge issued
[7:36] more secret society inquisition
[7:50] plea by shy/boob character for mercy
[8:00] plea fail = extra abuse (off camera)
[8:18] INSERT COMMERCIAL HERE
[8:40] rooftop lunch (with himeji) to inevitable fail?
[9:00] yuuji interruption
[9:05] hideyoshi interruption
[9:07] voyeur interruption

side character death in EP4...wut?[all that we need now is a generic explosion to remove the corpse]

[9:20] everyone dies (fucking called it, +4 points)
[9:34] smell test = pain
[9:40] reel swap. okay..where did this cut come from (film borders?)
[9:42] serious face
[9:52] gate to hell/FMA reference
[10:04] trap back from the dead
[10:12] fatalism WIN
[10:30] feign ignorance at bad cooking flag
[10:45] trepidation at drink...doom? cue crisis
[11:10] akihisa feint - will probably fail
[11:17] wow. taking the middle route. impressive +paragon +renegade

answer: it's over...you're doomed[conscience manifestation - yet another sign of doom]

[11:34] the damning sentence "I wanted you to be the first person to try it"
[11:36] art style change - aki death flag
[11:56] last second save by yuuji? switch to pencil-paper mode
[12:30] extra death flag - yuuji tells aki love will save him
[12:35] final words? wow...those were dumb
[12:42] switch reels - back to the gate?
[12:50] death
[12:55] yuuji admits to lying
[13:25] aki zombie + tsundere = round 2?
[14:06] tsundere flag activation?
[14:16] miharu (lesbian/fang) interruption
[14:22] another bento layer. goddamnit
[14:50] round 2 delayed + fancy classrooms?

more predictions
-more miharu interruptions + class A gay dude = aki life fail

[15:10] traveling montage - school edition
[15:40] more inquisition...jeez
[15:51] wow...go japan. change the color of those robes and this can't be exported as is

another cut sort-of-out-of-context[just wait for someone to take this out of context]

[16:04] aki's doomed by the same face...again
[16:30] crossing paths - fang interrupt imminet?
[17:15] tsundere fail
[17:20] enter gay class A student (called it +1 point)
[17:40] requisite lunch offer = tsundere interrupt
[18:20] tsundere resignation
[18:55] train station lunch = meal of champions/rich hobos
[19:00] teacher/narrator entrance?
[19:24] accidental pain to detention. all lunch plans fail
[20:05] tsundere venting
[20:50] aki entrance at trash can = wants to scrape dish clean?
[21:08] haiti reference? TLs must be screwing with me
[21:30] tsundere cheerup
[22:00] ED - after scene next (please)?
[23:36] no after scene... :\

Eh...too much work for +5 points. Maybe I'll do another one of these for a less joke driven show. If this doesn't get you to have an opinion on this show, I fucking give up.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

State of the Union [Spray and Pray]



Let's destroy The Shagohod your mind, one piece of culture at a time.

Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Beta
I've gotten the Xbox 360 demo and the PC beta.
360:  Little lag.  Plays just like Bad Company 1.  Vehicle controls are better.
PC: Lags like shit.  Server browser causes CTD.  Lags like shit.  GUI is poorly-designed, uses too much abbreviation.  Lags like shit.
General: Still no prone?!  UAVs = fucking awesome.  Destruction 2.0 = the camping-killer.  New unlock system = CoD4-inspired.  I'm ambivalent.  But, it's still in the Bad Company subfranchise and so of course I'll play it.  For now, stick to the 360 demo.  Ranking is locked at Private II and all class unlocks are limited to Lvl 2.  You'll start with the AEK-791, 9A91, PKM, and M24--and unlock the XM8, SCAR-LC, M249, Type 88, and the tracer dart.  Happy hunting.

Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu
This show is the brain-melting culturally-aware show of the season.  It's pretty much pure gold to anyone who consumes the anime medium.  Let's count!

  1. Zetsuboushita! A bit too early to reference the 3-season juggernaut that is Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei?
  2. Hideyoshi has a magical girl transformation.  Despite being a guy.  And transforms into his own clothes again.  This trap-ism becomes a gimmick for the rest of the show, and there's already porn of him.  Yes.  He's essentially the show's mascot.
  3. There's a running subtitle side conversation, in the style of Colbert's The Word.  It's new to the medium, but the content is stale.
  4. I love how the SPECIAL ACE of the team is actually the most useless.
  5. There's another running gag where the seme/uke relationship is consistently disgusting.
  6. Usually saved for the season finale, the ultimate battle plan fails.  In episode 2.
  7. Oh god, the Ranka Lee (Macross Frontier) gang sign is viral.  We'll be seeing it in the Gundam 00 movie, Christ.
  8. Tons of visual gags and great design choices, which really make the most of the genre.
Watch this show.

Chuu Bra
I don't know what to make of this show.  If we were to take the narrative from a purely textual point of view, it'd be a story about female development, societal mores, and amateur couture.  If you actually watch the show, you'll find it to be what amounts to Japan's next wave of statutory rape.  Somehow, the Batman-style transitions makes me think that Adam West is going to pop out and fondle little girls.  Another thing to note is that they reference the job of an industry monitor, which, as I understand it, does not cooperate with the design house.  Those guys use fit models and the feedback stays in-house.  The previews are creative and are omake-esque.  Overall, the show is too risque for its best audience--young girls 12-16.

Dance in the Vampire Bund
I haven't followed this show much, but from what I can tell, it's weird, quirky, and different.  The character designs are detailed and a lot of care went into adapting it from the manga.  Watch the pilot all the way through and decide if you're into it then.

Durarara!!
Show of the year.  Yes, I've already called it.  It's the perfect followup to Baccano!, as the same animation studio does the work.  The original story comes from the same author and the character design comes from the same guy who did Yozakura Quartet and it shows--the show makes constant nods to Quartet, Spice and Wolf, and Baccano.  Hell, there are way too many cat ears in these shows.  Go ahead and check, I shit you not.  This blog will still be here when you come back.  Fucking boot up the Googles and look for the cat ears.  And suffer the knowledge as I do.  The plot is far less confusing than Baccano's, which had far too many timejumps for the typical viewer; this show's episodic structure deals with the narrative with thematic selection.  There's a typical white vs black conflict, but that's not fully explored so far and for some reason there's the brown man, a black Russian (what the hell), so we've got a three-way power struggle that makes no sense but is hilarious.  There's also a mystery group, the DOLLARS, whose colored visual vocabulary has only been hinted.  Why are you still reading this start fucking torrenting.






Sora no Woto
This is basically the new K-On.  5-piece band in a post-apocalyptic world.  Oh look, AMAZING GRACE IN THE FUTUUUUURE.  There's a walking tank (is there any other kind?) that serves as the retrofuturist lampshade for the premise.  I'm hoping for a little more musical emphasis (K-On had a little, but it was for a few brief moment), particularly regarding brass instruments.  Our main female lead has a terrible weakass embosure, it makes me cringe.  Anyway, the setting reminds me of the Festival de la Tomate, so it's trying to be somewhat Euro-centric.  Oh yes, the token tsundere plays the clarinet, what a big fucking surprise (I play the clarinet as well.  Does that make me a man-tsundere?).  They have a mascot, an owl, which is on their unit patches--this instantly made me think of Pumpkin Scissors, but instead of a giant killing machine they have lolis.  The OP really catches my eye because it reminds me a Elfen Lied's OP/ED, pulling from the gold leaf murals of Gustav Klimt (the only Sezessionstil artist you will ever need to know).  Drop this show unless you like K-On.




Caprica
GENTRIFICATION IN SPAAAAACE.  Only seen the pilot, missed last night's episode.  Okay, it's not terrible but the plot is very easy to mock.  Replace Cylons with golems and we've got a crappy fantasy show. The Greystones are your typical well-to-do family with a typically rebellious daughter.  Zoe is some mastermind genius religious character.  The Adamas are interesting, as the plot paints their origin as Taurons to be something of a mix between the Sicilian mafia and the Palestinians.  The mixing of technological, ethnic, and religious topics is interesting, so I'll be following this show because there's a BSG-sized vacuum in my life.


Johnny Foreigner - Cranes and Cranes and Cranes and Cranes



Desert Sessions - You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar But I Feel Like A Millionaire



Owl City - Strawberry Avalanche



Philip Glass - Metamorphosis (Movement I) 


T.O.K. - SHOTTAS/HOTTA


Nanquan Mama feat. MC Hotdog - Here We Go


Ultraviolet - Spin Like A DJ



New Boyz feat. Ray Z - Tie Me Down



G-Dragon - Heartbreaker



Ramona Rey vs Ayuze Kozue - Find Sundae & Take It




Fujiya & Miyagi - Knickerboxer



Hail Mary Mallon - D-Up



I'm spent.  I fucki-  Oh look, how about you stick around for some dessert?


Spice and Wolf S1 OP



Fucking give up already. (Today's pop culture count: 25)